Saturday, January 07, 2006
Little Rubber Bracelets
To keep with my last post of never letting a trend go by, I have to comment on the onslaught of those colored rubber bracelets that you can buy from almost anyone to stand for anything. I guess it all started with Lance Armstrong and the yellow ones, but I'll be damned if I don't walk down the streets of DC these days without seeing a new color standing for a new philanthropy on everyone from delivery guys to Hill interns.
Honestly, has it gotten out of control? This past Christmas I decorated an entire two-foot tree with nothing but my collection of the new-millenium's answer to the 80s bangel bracelet. There were the usual suspects, a Livestrong bracelet here, a white one for The One Campaign there. Then they got weird. A rainbow one for "Support Gay Marriage" (I'm gay, but who in the world reaps the monetary benefits from that one? If we sell enough of them does that mean my partner and I can have our elopement in P-Town paid for?), the red Cherryfund ones that granted us access to the local cirucuit party events last April, a purple one with various San Francisco icons on it, and my personal favorite, the green one for "Save the Pandas" (I guess for the recent birth of the panda cub here at the National Zoo.)
The irony, I haven't paid for a single one of these bracelets, but not because that's what I set out to do. It all started with "borrowing" a Livestrong one from my partner's daughter, and then the others just started showing up. Two in my backpack at an afterhours, left behind by a regular customer on my counters at work, attached to going-away presents, and then, as a gag birthday gift, my great friend Rob Harris presented me with a $2.99 package of generic ones that not only smelled like fake fishing tackle, but had such "touchy feely" sayings such as Peace, Romance, and my personal favorite; Truth. Too bad none of them are large enough to fit around my thick wrists from years of lifting; they would probably barely fit as cock-rings. However I think wearing the Romance ones as phallic support would probably kill the mood if someone were to be servicing in that area and just happend to start reading.
The point to all of this? That as I'm typing this entry I believe that 2006 is going to be the year of the rubber bracelet backlash. In 2005 they were so cheesy they were cool, but this year they'll just be cheesy. Will that stop me from wearing a few choice ones from my collection? Depends. But I'll be on the lookout for the next trend to rear its ugly head. Isn't it time for designer shoelaces to make a comeback?
Honestly, has it gotten out of control? This past Christmas I decorated an entire two-foot tree with nothing but my collection of the new-millenium's answer to the 80s bangel bracelet. There were the usual suspects, a Livestrong bracelet here, a white one for The One Campaign there. Then they got weird. A rainbow one for "Support Gay Marriage" (I'm gay, but who in the world reaps the monetary benefits from that one? If we sell enough of them does that mean my partner and I can have our elopement in P-Town paid for?), the red Cherryfund ones that granted us access to the local cirucuit party events last April, a purple one with various San Francisco icons on it, and my personal favorite, the green one for "Save the Pandas" (I guess for the recent birth of the panda cub here at the National Zoo.)
The irony, I haven't paid for a single one of these bracelets, but not because that's what I set out to do. It all started with "borrowing" a Livestrong one from my partner's daughter, and then the others just started showing up. Two in my backpack at an afterhours, left behind by a regular customer on my counters at work, attached to going-away presents, and then, as a gag birthday gift, my great friend Rob Harris presented me with a $2.99 package of generic ones that not only smelled like fake fishing tackle, but had such "touchy feely" sayings such as Peace, Romance, and my personal favorite; Truth. Too bad none of them are large enough to fit around my thick wrists from years of lifting; they would probably barely fit as cock-rings. However I think wearing the Romance ones as phallic support would probably kill the mood if someone were to be servicing in that area and just happend to start reading.
The point to all of this? That as I'm typing this entry I believe that 2006 is going to be the year of the rubber bracelet backlash. In 2005 they were so cheesy they were cool, but this year they'll just be cheesy. Will that stop me from wearing a few choice ones from my collection? Depends. But I'll be on the lookout for the next trend to rear its ugly head. Isn't it time for designer shoelaces to make a comeback?
// posted by ProudJock Matt @ 8:36 PM 
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