Last One on the Blog Train

At 3:30am, any morning, whether its on the weekend, during the weekend, or during vacation - can be an odd time. Unless you are specifically doing something with people, and that specific something started much earlier, or even yesterday, it can be a time when you are forced to be alone.

Now, I think I've said this before. Being alone and being lonely are two completely different things. Sometimes I have to seek the sanctuary of 3:30am to get some alone time and to file my thoughts from the previous day where they belong. Then sometimes, out of a lack of sleep, a whole crop of new ones pop up. However, they can be the most random bits of information or observation, and the irony is that they have kept me up way past 3:30am in the past.

I guess this is a good of a forum as any to get this stuff down on "paper." This will be a list of random thoughts, some my drop off mid sentence, some may continue on longer than intended, but I want to see if I can type what I think without censor.

I wish I was in NYC right now with my friends. It kills me that I always look for the responsibility in my life and always put it before doing something that may put a smile on my face.

I just bought a $700 hand-held organizer from Dell.com. What the hell for except that I have a lot of credit with them and the new contraption has a GPS system attatched. Irony: I like getting lost and finding my own way.

I saw a shirt today that said "Original Gamer" with a sketch of the original Nintendo's controller on it. You know, a directional pad, start and select buttons, and then A and B. That's it. No Z trigger, no L and R buttons at the top, and definately no sign of a joy stick - and I got Link to Princess Zelda many times just fine.

How did I lose time to play video games? In my mind work takes up about 2/3 of the time that school actually did, and I would play back then for hours. I think the games now have gotten too plain hard. I can't get through them now without the "cheatbook." Whatever.

Can you love someone and not like them at the same time?

At what point in my life do I get to finally stop worrying about when pay day is?

Can you have a crush on someone who lives thousands of miles away and that you haven't seen in almost a year?

I mentally and physically sabatoge myself when it comes to working out. I slave away for weeks for some party, just to hear the other guys say I'm cute, and then I let it all go. It's like blowing up a beach ball a little too much, and then letting the plug out. I'm starting to not to want to blow up the beach ball anymore - unless I do it the right way for the right reasons. But what are those reasons?