Saturday, December 30, 2006
One Year Past
So I've blogged for a year. Original intent being to comment on Pop Culture, which I live and breath, and the reality being that blogging turned out to be a great form of therapy for me. I never really intended people to read it, and definately without any sense of consitancy, but the positive feedback I've received over the past year has been endearing.
What a YEAR 2006 was. Let me just say that I'm now a firm believer that if you ring in the New Year in a flashy, drama-filled or over-the-top way, that's how your year will turn out. I spent 2005-2006 in typical gay-DC form (night at the now-closed Nation night club) but dealt with a boyfriend that I was realizing I didn't want, and an odd argument among friends that I steered clear from. And where did this year take me? Through a break up (that was good then went horribly wrong), opening a new Starbucks location, taking a leap and moving to NYC, slight depression, a few illegal activities that will go unmentioned, and more adding and subtracting of friends than one does during high-school and college graduations combined.
I learned to never stop being myself, and not to let anyone else overshadow me. I am not responsible for anyone except myself, and of other people that are in my life, their actions or words do NOT reflect back on me. I learned I can't change anyone except myself. I learned what co-dependant means.
I learned I can survive on my own, and that I should have never expected it to be smooth sailing from the start. I learned that sometimes acquaintences in life will turn out to be your closest friends and that those who were once close friends should have been kept at an arms distance.
I now know to NEVER see a concert being put on by the Today Show, to never do laundry again as long as they pick up and deliver and to never waste a day in New York City wasting away in my apartment.
I learned that older doesn't mean smarter or even better at taking care of themselves. I learned that addicts will lie the same lies and mistake the same mistakes as long as someone else is there to fix it.
The purpose of family changed for me this year as well. My blood family still lives in the DC area and I do miss them from time to time, but going home for the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays I realized how hard they try to keep things the same, and how their seams have started to show because of it.
My definition of best friend changed this year. It's not the person or persons that you've known the longest, or even experience some awesome or terrible event with. Best Friends are those that play Devil's Advocate and that you forgive before they even say "sorry" for anything. They are people who you stay up until unGodly times Sunday nights/Monday mornings righting the wrongs of the world, but also knowing that there's nothing really wrong with our world, because we're in control of it. They listen to you bitch and moan about your ex for the billionth time, and play right along with it because they know it's helping you release anger. And best friends are those you can "Heather" with until the proverbial cows come home, and never think twice about the words escaping the group. J and A, I thank-you more than I'll ever be able to show.
I was thrown back into gay single life again, and this time in a bigger pond. The rules haven't changed, but they are still hard to play by. I've caught myself believing that the club/nightlife world is all there is, and then snapping myself back to reality real quick. Yes, it really is just about the music, and I get through nights out a lot easier now knowing that.
So, I'll keep blogging. One, its fun to put my two-cents out there. Two, it keeps me writing. And Three, it was nice to read through a year's worth of thoughts kept somewhere besides a girly diary or journal notebook that I always stopped soon after cramping hands that don't write for very long.
Happy New Year.
Matty
What a YEAR 2006 was. Let me just say that I'm now a firm believer that if you ring in the New Year in a flashy, drama-filled or over-the-top way, that's how your year will turn out. I spent 2005-2006 in typical gay-DC form (night at the now-closed Nation night club) but dealt with a boyfriend that I was realizing I didn't want, and an odd argument among friends that I steered clear from. And where did this year take me? Through a break up (that was good then went horribly wrong), opening a new Starbucks location, taking a leap and moving to NYC, slight depression, a few illegal activities that will go unmentioned, and more adding and subtracting of friends than one does during high-school and college graduations combined.
I learned to never stop being myself, and not to let anyone else overshadow me. I am not responsible for anyone except myself, and of other people that are in my life, their actions or words do NOT reflect back on me. I learned I can't change anyone except myself. I learned what co-dependant means.
I learned I can survive on my own, and that I should have never expected it to be smooth sailing from the start. I learned that sometimes acquaintences in life will turn out to be your closest friends and that those who were once close friends should have been kept at an arms distance.
I now know to NEVER see a concert being put on by the Today Show, to never do laundry again as long as they pick up and deliver and to never waste a day in New York City wasting away in my apartment.
I learned that older doesn't mean smarter or even better at taking care of themselves. I learned that addicts will lie the same lies and mistake the same mistakes as long as someone else is there to fix it.
The purpose of family changed for me this year as well. My blood family still lives in the DC area and I do miss them from time to time, but going home for the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays I realized how hard they try to keep things the same, and how their seams have started to show because of it.
My definition of best friend changed this year. It's not the person or persons that you've known the longest, or even experience some awesome or terrible event with. Best Friends are those that play Devil's Advocate and that you forgive before they even say "sorry" for anything. They are people who you stay up until unGodly times Sunday nights/Monday mornings righting the wrongs of the world, but also knowing that there's nothing really wrong with our world, because we're in control of it. They listen to you bitch and moan about your ex for the billionth time, and play right along with it because they know it's helping you release anger. And best friends are those you can "Heather" with until the proverbial cows come home, and never think twice about the words escaping the group. J and A, I thank-you more than I'll ever be able to show.
I was thrown back into gay single life again, and this time in a bigger pond. The rules haven't changed, but they are still hard to play by. I've caught myself believing that the club/nightlife world is all there is, and then snapping myself back to reality real quick. Yes, it really is just about the music, and I get through nights out a lot easier now knowing that.
So, I'll keep blogging. One, its fun to put my two-cents out there. Two, it keeps me writing. And Three, it was nice to read through a year's worth of thoughts kept somewhere besides a girly diary or journal notebook that I always stopped soon after cramping hands that don't write for very long.
Happy New Year.
Matty
// posted by ProudJock Matt @ 5:07 AM 
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